Girl: Hey my eyes are up here.

Dude: Yea I know I’m just prolonging my lifespan, thanks.

So browsing the internet I found a study, which came out last year, confirming what I’ve saying for years! A recent article in the New England Journal of Medicine supports the idea that staring at women’s breasts prolongs your lifespan, possibly by four or five years!!!! Now I’m the first to tout the benefits of staring at boobs but this is on a whole new level. Researchers claim that staring at boobs causes sexual excitement, which improves blood circulation and can eventually cut the risk of heart attack and stroke in half!

But wait, you’re now asking yourself, who would be audacious enough to conduct this type of research. Well it was… yup, you guessed it… zee Gehhhmaaannsss. The study (link to the article can be found here) was authored by a female nonetheless and she really knows what dudes are interested in:

According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years.

She added, “Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out.”

She also said that dudes “over 40 should gaze at larger breasts daily for 10 minutes. ” Yup, we’re right there with ya lady!

So dudes if any female gives you slack about staring at her bazoombas, just cite this study. The dudes here at dudemandude.net have already begun to make a habit of it. Also, if anyone has any information on further studies involving breasts, beer or BMWs please contact me immediately at foreigndude@dudemandude.net. I will get the dudes in on it and give you a nice dudely pat on the back and possibly invite you for our next duding adventure… weeeelll, that might be a stretch but hey, ya never know.

UPDATE: So I checked it out on snopes.com and apparently this claim is false and it was all a hoax. Oh well, we won’t tell anyone that. Stare on dudes, stare on!